Today is the first day of Chinese New Year. I wish all my dear friends the best luck in this tough economy. :)

Be happy, be simple, be great!

最近总是很晚才睡，事情多做不完是一方面，另一方面很喜欢夜里宁静的时候，听着音乐的感觉。忙碌久了，偶尔要停下来细细想想，回味一下，会有不同的收获。很多朋友最近都有面试，可食品公司偏偏行动迟缓，要等到10月中下旬，或11月才开始recuiting season. 所以不要急，慢慢的，一切都回好的。

这学期很忙碌，上课，试验，找工作。没有一件事可以放松。偶尔的抱怨，对来的不确定，对自己能力的怀疑会令我很痛苦。好在身边的朋友还有家人在支持着我。为了你们，我也要加倍努力。而我也要试着珍惜这都不确定的日子，至少它给了我希望。因为这种不确定，我的生活中有了动力，有了支持我向前的奋斗目标。Be happy!

换了一个韩式发型,换了一个心态.不变的是自己的性格.也许性格真的决定命运,但天真的我一次又一次的试图改变自己的命运!结果如何,希望很快得到结果.Lucy 说, uncertainty is the beauty of life. 但这种美是要付出代价的,同时也是一种煎熬!!希望一切很快结束,希望一切都尽快有定居.  

尝试着改变。最近在尝试着改变我的生活，一点一点的。

新学期很是忙碌，很多事情要做。很喜欢这样充实的学生生活。不知道毕业以后要等多少年才能再走进校园。所以一定要珍惜这一年，这也是我尝试改变的原由之一。

 Today, I got lost again. Why New Jersey's high-ways are so confusing?  It took me 6 hours from Phila, which is only one and half hour away from my apartment. I was about to cry when I passed by a same place after driving 3 hours. I am wondering how big is New Jersey. How comes after 5 hours of driving I am still in New Jersey .  The good thing is that I stoped by Applebee, and had great steak and cheesecake. haha. After that, I felt much more relaxed and was ready to explore NJ's high-way again. To avoid similar accidents happening again, I am gonna buy a GPS tomorrow. Even though I will only stay in NJ for one more week. But who knows, I may come back after one year.  

发现自己做事很极端，不知是好是坏。说极端，又可说是随性，感性而不理性。也许这是年轻不成熟的表现，但自己已不年轻了呀。24岁，人生能有多少个轮回啊。想想12年前，还在上小学，傻傻的，但不觉得自己傻，很幼稚，但自以为很成熟。12转眼间过去了，我得到了什么呢？现在的我还是傻傻的很幼稚。12年后又会是什么样呢？36岁的我会是什么样呢？我不是一个会享受生活的人，或者说我是一个总在push自己的人。这样的性格注定了我的命运。学会随性而行，学会轻松，学会享受生活，还有学会快乐。

。。。我知道自己在写些什么？？？ :)

 

After a stressful week, I am FREE now. No paper, no experiments, no exams in final week.... and no stress. But is it really a good thing to have nothing to do just relaxation? I doubt. Anyway, I will enjoy the good weather in Ithaca!

 

Answer Peng's questions:

1你觉得人与人之间最重要的是什么？
真诚，真诚的对待每一个人，没有欺骗。
2以往的感情经历，你觉得最大的收获是什么？
包容
3你觉得周围的人愿意与自己交往吗？自己可以为别人做些什么？
我想应该愿意吧。有朋友说我能给他们带来欢乐，这一点令我很开心。
4多少个人把自己认为是朋友？（或你认为自己在多少人心目中是不可或缺的）
应该有很多人把我当成朋友，但不可或缺的就不知道有多少了。
5对于一段破裂的关系，你的态度怎样？
想忘记但很难，只有不去碰心里的伤疤。
6你爱上一个人的表现是什么？
心跳加速，脸红
7如果你有五百万，怎样花？4月19日 20:02
五百万日元的话就去吃一小顿，五百万美金的话就天天吃好吃的。 哈哈

 

鹏，也该到你回答问题的时候了吧！

学会知足，虽然现在还没有BF, 但知心的女朋友们令我觉得自己很富有

花花：爱撒娇，可以聊聊知心话的“傻”朋友。跟她聊天，会很放松，不会有所顾忌，总之很开心啦！这样说她傻，肯定会被她扁死的 哈哈

鹏：有时像一个知心的大姐姐，能听我抱怨，替我开怀，有时又像我的小妹妹。 她的性格柔弱，但有时又很坚强，倔强。如果她是水，我便是火；她是海，我便是山。很难想象水火能相融。这也许便是我们可以成为朋友的原因吧，很奇妙的感觉。

东君：一个大大大美女。她的美不仅在于她的容貌，还有她的性格。有时会觉得她像小龙女，一种不食人间烟火的感觉。但大家死心了吧，"小龙女"已找到她的"杨过"了。呵呵。另人羡慕啊！

罗莎：自从去了berkerly了之后，怎么就感觉你过的很辛苦呢？有时不敢给你打电话，因为怕耽误你的时间。但你一定知道，我是想你的。希望你的生活不要那么忙碌，还有即使忙，有机会一定要enjoy the sunshine in SF, cause you know that there is no  in Ithaca.

zhao: I barely called you, but you know I miss you as well. You never show up in MSN, neither update ur blog. I have no way to know how's ur new life in NYC. I think you are probably the most independent girl among us, has your own idea most of the time. But don't push urself too hard, take everything easy, anything will be solved at some point. Zhao, if you could read this by any chance, leave me a message to let me know you are living a good life.

Ok, that's all for today. I have other good friends, Sharon, Xin, Lucy, Wendy, Huiyuan, Biqing... who I won't mention here. Anyway, I want to thanks for you guys for being a partner in my life, for bringing me happiness. I will cherish all the pieces and moments with you. My friends, did you receive the message from me, from an isolated town in upstate New York? All the best, my friends. (I hope I were a boy, then I have so many choices.)

Where: Tower Road

When: 6:30pm (I guess)

How: By car

 

  A very very fat cat ran to the road, and I hit it by accidently... I did try to stop my car when I noticed it, but it was just too late... I screamed out, and also my brake. Fortunately, I couldn't see its bloody body. Hopefully it is still alive...  

First, I want to say: I really want to type Chinese, but how comes this stupid computer doesn't allow me to type Chinese?

Spring break is coming in two weeks. I haven't decided where I am going. Lucy is going to Korea to visit her sister. So admire! I still remember last year we planned to go to London to visit Wendy. But now, everything is too late. It is too late to apply the visa, too late to book the ticket... sigh :( But I will definitely walk around during spring break, maybe visit Commons a little bit! ^__^

Now I am really looking forward this summer, cause I will work somewhere in New Jercy, which is 40 mins' drive to NYC. I am sooooo excited about it, and looking forward to having sth different there. If it is possible, I want to spend two weeks to travel around Europe. OW!! :)

My research moves little by little. Here I say "little by little", which really means little by little, if that small step still counts. sigh, that is called life, with ups and downs.    

It was so boring those days. Without short-term goals, life is like a piece of blank paper. I hate my current life situration. So I tried to make myself busier by reading, cooking and doing sport. But still, something missed in my life... That is self-motivation. How can people find their goals when they just finish one? After standing on the top of one mountain, I was happy for making this achievment, and also disappointed that another mountain which was much higher stood up in front of me. I need to collect my courage to climb this mountain again, but when I can reach a platue where no more higher mountain will show up. "Tops never Stop"----I like this quote. In my interpretation, if you want to reach the top level, you should never stop fighting for your future. So that's why we need self motivation all the time. This summer gives me much more spare time to think about myself, my future and my life. It is the right time I need to think about it before stepping onto the next stage. At night, when everbody seems to sleep already, I cried for what I havn't done, but I should, for the tough life I may face, for my friends and family I missed in China. Sigh... Still lots of things need to be done. Fighting!

Try to build up my space again, just want to see how long I would persist this time. One month, one week or this would be the only and last message I wrote here in 2006!!

 

Sometimes we should force ourselves to finish sth, to take the responsibility, to face our mistakes, and to make decisions. Life is tough! The only way we can live in this cruel world is to live with the courage. But where's the courage from? From friends, relatives, ourselves or GOD! I personally don't share everything with friends and families, since I found it was sort of hard to express my thoughts, my feelings. Though I bother my friends a lot to listen to my bullshit, I still don't trust it is a good way to cure myself. So I guess, the courage may be from the self-confidence. But how a person, who never had confidence to himself, gets the courage? Then it comes to GOD, but who is GOD, and where is GOD. Is GOD in my heart or living in the heaven waiting for me? Everything is condused and messed up, just like the life, which is extremly disordered.  

 

I don't know how can I make through this... Try to stay turned, but...

Just finishing one preliem, I know I still have a long way to go, just like my life, there is always things need to be done. From the preliem, I found confidence was really important, with which I can handle any problem. Actually I am not a confident person in reallity, I never trust myself...  Try to build up my confidence from today... hehe

I creat opportunities. I develop the capacities for moving toward opportunity. I turn crisis into creative opportunties and defeats into successes and frustration into fulfillment. With what? With my great invisible weapons: my good feelings about myself, my determination to live the best life I can, and my feeling-that only I can give myself-that I am a worthwhile, deserving person. I must fight for my right to fulfill the opportunity that God gave me to use my life well.

Hope I can make it. fighting!!!

Hi friends, I just want to say hi to everybody. You may be my old friends, and we don't have time or opportunity to hang out; you may be a stranger, and I am ur friend's friend's friend. Anyway, hope u have a good day, and please check my blogs and drop me any words...

Today, I decided to become a son of God in Chinese Church. I am trying to make my life easy: GPA, GRE and Job. About GPA, I already tried my best in all the preliems, and I did learn a lot in all the classes. But for some reason, I did bad in two of them. I have no complain about it, cause that is what I can do. Does it show my low IQ? .... I am doubting my capability! Last Monday I went to Syracuse to take GRE, although I prepared it for a long time, I still cannot satisfy myself, I still think I should do better. So I decide to take it again in Noveber. I swear it is the last time and also my last opportunity to take this stupid exam... Then jobs, I was refused by two companies, not mention companies who even didn't respond to me, it is because of my timid characteristic to speak out, to show myself, also because of my poor preparation. But I should not have regret, cause finding jobs is a learning experience itself. Last, allow me to go back to God, where I began. Life is tough, but I know God loves me, he will give me courage and guid me to a bright future. So, let's wait for his guidence, at the same time, live a happy and colorful life.

I am just soooo screwed by recent life. GRE, homework, resume stuff... People asked me why I didn't update my blog, I really want to. But time is limited for me, it always disappeared b4 I finished my assigments. So, forgive me before Oct 10. I will definitely go back to normal then.   

I am really nervous now, cause of tomorrow's presentation. I don't have confidence, since I think my data is limited, my English is poor, my ...." Stop!! What u r doing is just to find reasons for yourself". All my mentioned is not the point, instead I should focus on how I can do a good job, how I can impress audiences and how I can succeed myself......I like the feeling of stress, the more stress, the more effcient I work.